The first time my thirteen year old daughter told me that my expectations of her were unrealistic, I got upset and thought she was just another rebellious and mouthy teenager who wasn’t getting her way. It wasn’t long before her fourteen year old sister, on a separate occasion, told me the exact same thing. When she left the room, I thought about what both my girls said. I also thought about how many times my husband told me he was doing the best he could and I told him it wasn’t good enough. I thought about how many times the three of them have asked me to do or be anything other than what or who I am…never. That will forever be one of the most humbling moments of my life. What is it about me that fuels this need to have them project perfection to the world? Even at the expense of our familial relationship? I look at them and I am literally overwhelmed at the love I feel for all of them. So, why am I willing to sell them short so that people that I don’t even like think we’re the perfect family? What is it? The truth is…I have bought into the lie. It is a lie that plays on repeat in my head almost daily, sometimes several times a day. The lie that says I am not enough, but I must look the part. I will never be enough, but I must look the part. No one cares what I have to say, so just stay quiet. My ideas are not good enough. I am not smart enough. I don’t deserve to be here. Yes, there are stretches of time when I think I’ve defeated these lies. But, then they rear their ugly heads and I descend into this abyss of questions and doubts again. BUT GOD! The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged (Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV).
Heavenly Father,
You are good. In our weakness, You are glorified. On our own, we are not enough. But with You, all things are possible. With You, we belong. With You, we can have confidence in knowing where all of our help comes from. We thank You that the evil one has no more hold over our lives. We thank You that we are able to recognize the lies and trade them for Your truth. We love you. We trust you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I Will Cling 